The good thing about feeling like no one is reading what you write is that you feel free to make changes without confusing people! I write, publish, and delete posts all the time. Not because I necessarily feel as if I have something to hide, but rather, because after a day or so of reflection, I feel like I didn't quite get my word across as I intended. So, if you are reading, and suddenly things seem like they've changed, don't fret, you aren't going crazy, it's probably just me messing around with things once again.
Now that I've gotten that taken care of... on to my new post.
If you are reading this, it's because I've let you in on our "news." I'm still having trouble calling it that. I feel like I'm just in "pretend" mode. Like any moment I will get a message that nope, you were just dreaming, none of that was real. I suppose it's similar to at the start of a pregnancy, when you have news to share, but don't really know what to share, with whom to share, or if it really is happening. Right now I feel like I'm just a few weeks along. Positive test, but nothing confirmed by a doctor. Scared that the doctor can say, "Nope, sorry, that's not the case after all." So you feel like you are dying to share your news with the world, but there isn't much of anything to say.
As of now, our positive comes in the form of a message. We ARE hoping/praying/believing that we will be adopting a child. This child happens to have Down Syndrome. That is just an aside to me. Maybe that should have more of an impact than it does, but right now, we aren't even far enough along for that to matter. Right now, I'm just trying to find a doctor to confirm the pregnancy test, if you will!
We think we have our home study agency. There was a little potential snag, which turned out to be okay, and mentally confirmed to me how much I hope this is our agency, so I guess it was more of a snag-with-a-silver-lining.
We have already spoken with the international adoption agency. Our Girl (the one we believe is to come home with us) is in a country that I cannot name (for privacy reasons), but suffice to say, it's got it's positives and negatives. The negative, primarily, is that this country is probably about the most expensive to adopt from. This is not the fault of the country; in fact, it is because of the positive. The positive being that they are a very good country to adopt from. They have a system in place that works well, protects all parties involved, and there shouldn't be a lot of questions or worries in the process, the way there are in other countries that are less stringent on how things are done. Of course, being this organized comes at a cost. It means more processes, more paperwork, and therefore, more money.
The final cost, we expect, will be somewhere around $30,000. Right now, that doesn't scare me.
The starting cost, though, is about $5,000. That number makes me want to run and hide.
Here's the beginning of the breakdown:
Applications to the 3 different agencies involved: $875
Due at start of homestudy: $1500
Education Fee (classes required): $80
This is not all inclusive, and obviously does not add up to $5000, but it give the basics of what exactly I'm praying we come up with right now.
Until we are officially signed on as her forever family, I can't reveal a lot of the details. What I can tell you is that when I look at her, I see her as my child. I know that she will be safe, away from life without family, and loved in our home as much as each of our other children. She will grow up as our child, and we will provide her every bit of love that she deserves. Every child deserves a family, and while we can't save them all, we can save one. If this is the one difference we make in this world, if this is the only life we impact, that's worth all the money it takes to do so.
Where the money is coming from, I'll be honest, I have no clue. As I've told a few people (the few who know right now,) either God is leading us down this path, or we have completely lost our minds. Seeing as no one is calling for us to be locked up for mental issues, I'm thinking it's okay to give God the credit for this insanity, hehe.
So? That's the first reveal. The saying goes, "It takes a village to raise a child." Well, we are taking on the task of raising the child, but we are hoping that our many friends and family will make the choice to become our village. We need a village of strength, of support, and love. We need a village of prayers. We need a village that says, "I may not understand it all, but I will be here to see you through."
I've read enough of these journeys to know the importance of the village.
If you should choose to support us financially, I thank you. If you should choose to support us in prayer, I thank you. However you let us know you are here, we are already so thankful and appreciative. This is long, scary road, and without God completely leading the way, it will be very easy to get lost.
So, to our new villagers, I say welcome, and I say thanks. I hope you enjoy your new home.
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